Even I adore you.

A year ago I was burdened by a certain tension. I lacked control over the simplest aspects of my life. I chose to cut myself off from certain things because I didn't like the feelings they created. My time with friends seemed too much like a commitment. I coudn't just come and go as I felt compelled to. And I had so little to share with them. I had no access to the world outside of my little town, and no desire to mingle within. Events transpired that led me to a closeness with my family earlier this year, but I continued to keep companionship on the shelf. I nursed my spirit by teaching myself to approach my life objectively. I couldn't keep living for the moment. I needed the foresight to build my life into something I would enjoy years down the road.

I've learned to find and embrace those things that make me content. I know now what I can do to broaden myself and companionship isn't a requirement for me anymore. I won't be alone all my life, but when I find the right person I will know that they choose to spend time with me because I have that magnetic pull: I interest them, I make them see things in new ways, and they know I am strong enough to stand on my own.

There is a new tension in my life now, an exciting one. In the near future my life will spring forth. Five years of higher learning, and then...well, we'll see what happens.

:)

From her sketchbook

Look at her blog and the website for The quiet revolution. Plus, I think she might be cute. Le sigh.

Not much more than work and sorting out my brain (along with my apartment. I'm a cluttered bastard). Hanging out around the neighborhood. Getting my head in the right place to record some singing. Putting off sorting out work issues. Discovering good music on Pandora. Reading Juxtapoz (I love this mag!) and Mason & Dixon. Dealing with companionship issues. Talking to old friends who got laid off during their orientation at Target. Wtf. Falling in love with Picnik. Thinking about going to the fair. Listening to the fair from my porch. Staying up late Sunday night, as per the weekly ritual. Laundry. Junk food. Dried mangoes.

The Prestige

This movie was fantastic. What a message, what a buildup. One question: How did Angier know not to show himself that particular night? D'oh!

Doolittle

Pixies

I recently introduced myself to the work of the Pixies. Boy am I behind the times. Doolittle and Bossanova are on heavy rotation right now, and I am filled with the excitment of discovering something I've been desiring for a long time.

For the first time in a while I can't give any member any less recognition than the others. However, Black Francis' vocal control is fantastic. See "Is She Weird".

Naturally, as I registered on Last.fm, I entered the Pixies as my "favorite band" (sophomoric). They went on to recommend the Violent Femmes, the Killers, Modest Mouse, and...wait...Interpol? Now I don't have anything in particular against Interpol, despite widespread sneers at the depth of their music. I can't argue with tight, clean, catchy sound. But don't tell me Interpol is any substitute for the band that lent a stong journeyman's hand to the construction of alternative music.

Recommended listening: Tame, Mr. Grieves, Hey, Dig for Fire, The Happening.

My movements across town weren't disturbing in their own right. I would follow the sounds of drifters moaning sleeping dirges. Rooftop gatherings and arboreal beacons.

"You know how I need this. Lifting myself beyond mundane ties is my only respite."

Eventually, however, the steps leading up seemed insurmountable. The tapping of feet in the night. Hushed.

I no longer remember what color that floor was. I see behind my eyelids pavement, sediment, rhythmically vibrating wooden planks. When I breathe, my voice makes itself known now. And the bundles of letters stashed behind the dresser, the worn saddle shoes, laces tied together, the dappled sunlight on screen doors lends it a forlorn oaken hue.

Now, I realize it's a frightening occurrence when the majority of the scientific community embraces an idea that undermines the basis of the religion upon which you have based your life. I know how unpredictable human nature is. I can't expect you not to fight this, but let's get your language straightened out here.

Evolution is unquestionably a scientific fact. Stop! Don't argue yet - this is that language problem we're tackling.

There's no arguing that evolution occurs in nature. But to fully understand the phenomenon, let's examine cause and effect. Evolution isn't an obscure process. Many creationists almost make it out to be some evil archenemy of God, an entity in itself. We're talking paganism here.

Evolution consists of two main ideas: genetic mutation and survival of the fittest. Genetic accidents are a part of every breeding process. When those accidents produce characteristics that hamper the organism's chances of survival, that creature's offspring (should it live to have any) are less likely to outlast their cousins who may have gained an advantageous trait. Of course, this has been seen at extremes - wherein two lines of the same parent species diverge and form separate subspecies. But I can see how creationists might argue that the new species was simply an act of God, and it tends to distract from the main idea of evolution. These accidents occur on small levels all the time.

So why exactly are creationists such foes of evolution? Well, because supporters of the idea have theorized that man may have evolved from apes. Non sequitur, non? Let's not lash out at a perfectly rational idea because logic might follow it to a religious no man's land.

All I'm asking is that you leave evolution out of the debate. Say you don't support the Ape-Human Link. Use whatever terminology that makes sense. Just be more specific.

There's something to be said for a little visual flair and a more intuitive interface.